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16 February 2006 @ 09:01 pm
Title: Here's Your Ruttin' Valentine
Author: noneofyours
Summary: Valentine's Day on Serenity. Everyone's happy about it, 'cept Mal
Rating: R/NC17. Talks about sex, and two couples have it, but it's not as smutty or graphic as usual.
Charaters: Mal/Inara, River/Jayne, hints of others
I'm actually quite upset with myself over that. There could be tears.

"But it's shiny, Cap'n."

"No, mei mei. Not on my boat!"

"Gorramn, Mal. Why ruttin' not?"

"Wo cao, Jayne, not you too?"

"Daddy doesn't want it on his ship, his girl. It's another complication."

"Mei mei, Mal protects us. We have to respect his rules on his ship."

"'Bout time someone agreed with me."

"Mal, you are being completely unbelievable about this."

"Oh no, not you too, 'Nara."

"Can we at least go planetside on a beach? Maybe a nak..."

"WASH! Don't even say it."


"Is everyone against me on this?"

"Yes," the crew all echoed.



And so, it began. While Mal was focusing on getting a job, getting paid, and keeping Serenity in the air, everyone else has been focused on something else. One thing, in fact. One stupid gorramn holiday that didn't need focusing on, if you had asked Mal. Take Zoe and Wash, for example. They showed their love everyday. They didn't need one specific day to say three little words. Why did everyone else. "Wo cao, Valentine's Day. Maybe he was being stubborn. He'd said yes, didn't he? So what was the big deal? Whatever it was, it had affected his whole boat, and he didn't like it one bit.

Kaylee, River, and Inara had decorated the galley with red and pink paper streamers, Chinese paper lanterns with hearts on them, and a prissy red and pink tablecloth. Inara had happily offered to buy everything, knowing that Kaylee wanted it. Truth was, it tickled him a little, but he'd never say it. He wouldn't be surprised if she was also doing it because of Mal's reaction to it all. Grumbling, he'd stayed on the bridge or in his bunk as much as possible. He didn't want to think of his crew pairing off, doing who knows what with who knows who. He just wanted to be a mean old man.

The rapping at his bunk hatch was so slight, Mal almost thought he was imagining it. He called out for whoever it was to enter, his head bent over some paperwork he'd been trying to sort through on his desk. Someone had to keep Serenity's finances in the black, not the red. He looked up to see Book climbing down the ladder, good book in hand. Well, that was someone Mal hadn't been expecting. He turned in his chair so that he could face Book, smiling for the man.

"When we go planetside, I would like to spend the night off ship, if you please?" Mal couldn't hide the surprise, in his eyes or his voice.

"What's this about, Shepherd? Don't like us anymore?" He tried to keep his tone light, friendly like. Inside, his mind was screaming at him. What the hell did the Shepherd want off the ship for?

"No, nothing like that Captain. With the holiday coming up, and what festivities I heard the girls planning, I just... I'd rather not be around to hear the festivities." Mal's eyes widened and his hands flew up in front of his face. Why did people have to be talking about sex in front of him.

"Woah there, Shepherd. Ain't nuthin' like that gonna be happenin' on my boat. This is just a clean, family like get together. A little drinkin' and a little supper. 'Cept maybe Wash & Zoe, but them's married." Shepherd smirked at Mal, giving him a knowing glance. There was a look in his eye that was a little troubling to Mal. Like Shepherd didn't believe him.

"A day off ship, please." Mal gave up, nodding his head in agreement at Shepherd's request.

"At least, Mal, without me here, you can't get legally married again." And with that, the Shepherd left Mal's bunk, thankfully missing the glare Mal was giving him.


The next day, Serenity landed on Boros. The job was simple. Break in, snatch something, break out, then deliver to some border moon in the middle of nowhere. The travel was a few days away, and Serenity needed to refuel, so accommodating Shepherd's request would be quite easy. Still, Mal didn't like his implications. Oddly enough, the job went smoothly. Everything was like the contact said it would be They got the goods and were now ready to settle for the night.

Ok, almost smoothly. On the way back to the ship, Zoe had tripped over a rock. She was fine, but twisted her ankle in the process. It wasn't something that the others hadn't done, in one time of their lives or another. Simon set her leg, bandaged it, and then Wash carried her back to their bunk where he could play nurse to her. Wash had popped his head in at supper, briefly, to take some food to Zoe, and then he was gone. Fine by Mal, one less couple to deal with. Now, well now it was after supper. And things were getting interesting. Kaylee had broken out the home brew, as well as Jayne had even offered and sprung some coin on whisky. Anytime Jayne parted with his money and it wasn't for himself, Mal was scared. Inara had piped in some music from the Cortex, leading River and Simon to dance a little. Mal had to admit, it was nice to see the normally fancy doctor letting his hair down, so to speak. Inara was sitting by Kaylee, saying something to the younger girl and giggling. And she was wearing that red number, Mal had noticed. The one from when he tried to take her to the bar with Jayne. The one that showed off the smooth skin of her pale, flat stomach, probably soft to the touch like the skin of a baby and... NO! What the hell was he doing? This stuff was catching. Back to my bunk, he thought, just as Kaylee called to him. Cursing, he turned around and came back into the galley. Yup, Kaylee had caught him.

"Look, Cap'n! 'Nara sprung all out. Strawberries too! And Jayne got whiskey. Isn't it shiny?" Mal nodded his head, raising an eyebrow at Inara. She gave him a look as she met his gaze. One that basically said oh, it's ok, I don't mind. I know it would make Kaylee happy. And plus, if it pisses you off, I'm all for it. C'mon Mal, touch me. Mal blinked a few times, shaking his head. Gorramn holiday! Mal moved over to the table and sat down, knowing if he didn't Kaylee might do something worse to him, and then where would he be.

"Kaylee brewed wine," River said, looking over at everyone. "So Serenity can have a taste. She sips a little through fermentation." She turned back to Simon and began to dance once more. Mal crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. At least someone was starting to see how he saw her compared to others. She wasn't 'just' a ship to him. Never would be. Well, Mal thought to himself, Shepherd made all this out of nothing. This was nothing near as bad as Shepherd made it out to be... it wouldn't get out of hand, hmm? Well Mal didn't know how it had happened. One minute, everyone was in the galley, talking and laughing. Now, ply everyone with a few drinks, and it was a different story.

The galley was not quiet, but not loud either. The conversation that flowed easily between Jayne, Inara, Mal, and River was even pleasant, Jayne not withstanding. Kaylee had dragged Simon off, after much protesting and Inara agreeing to keep an eye on River. And with Zoe, Wash, and Book absent, the four of them were left to entertain themselves. At the moment, Inara was talking to River, whispering something and making her smile. Whatever it was, Mal was pretty sure he wouldn't like it. River's eyes were getting awful playful. Inara's voice, suddenly, became louder, as she turned to address Mal and Jayne.

"Mal, would you and Jayne help me with something?" She wasn't slurring. Oh no, that would be too much to look forward to, Mal thought. But, he could see the little cracks in her walls crumbling. She had let a few hiccups sneak through. Her hands weren't as graceful as they normally were. When she had gotten up for more wine, there was the slightest stagger in her step. Oh yeah, Inara was quite tipsy, with Jayne, River, and Mal all joining her in this happy fact. Gorram holiday, Mal still thought to himself. Mal's eyebrow raised as Inara made her way to stand behind him, even going so far as to rest her delicate hands on his shoulders.

"River, it seems, has come to me with questions. She's going through some changes in her life. I need model helpers if I am to help her." Inara nodded her head as she spoke, careful not to nod her head to vigorously. Her eyes went out to River, looking at her and not Mal, or Jayne, how was now leering, having a good guess where this was going.

"Now, when a man and a woman..." Mal jumped to his feet, shock on his face. His arms raised up, trying to stop her as he stepped away from the table.

" 'Nara! What you playin' at here?" Inara gave Mal her most innocent smile, stepping a few steps closer to him. He looked like a deer in headlights, his eyes widened, but he stood his ground. Bully for him.

"River has asked me some questions. Would you prefer Jayne be the one that answers them for her, perhaps with demonstrations?" They both looked over at River and Jayne. Jayne was licking his lips, clearly liking that idea. The strange thing was, River was too. She wasn't licking her lips and leering as he was, but she was smiling wide and there was a hint of a nodding going on with her head. Mal blanched at this. Inara took that for compliance, spinning Mal around by the shoulders so he was facing Jayne and River.

"Now, the event itself can take mere minutes in the hands of someone unskilled. You have to use your creativity to delay that, prolong the inevitable."


"Your role is silent, Mal!" Inara rolled her eyes, then continued. "Your hands, they are your best tools. Yes, there are lips, words, but hands can explore. They can caress. They can be gentle to the touch or rough." Inara noted how River was watching her with Rapt attention. Moving around to stand in front of Mal, she grabbed him roughly by the front of his shirt, catching him off guard. Tugging hard on the collar, she pulled him closer to her, so that their bodies were mere inches apart, if that. Then, her hands moved slower, running up and down the length of his muscular chest. To his credit, Mal stood there, trying to appear unaffected. Her touch was feather light. She barely touched him at all, but still, he knew what she was doing. His eyes closed and his lips, in one mere moment, turned up in the briefest of smiles.

"Captain like, though he doesn't want to. Can't let someone in." River whispered the words, unable to look away. Turning to Jayne, she moved over, almost mimicking Inara movement for movement. her hands moved up to his shirt, grabbing him by the neck of it, hauling him up out of the chair. Jayne's eyes were wide, but he didn't get a chance to get a word out. Bending down, she put her face right in Jayne's. Her hands let go of his shirt, smoothing the material down with her palms. Nimble fingers stroked up and down his chest, playfully tweaking one nipple through the fabric of his shirt.



"What is goin' on here?" Jayne sounded like his voice was about to squeak. Mal had to control himself not to laugh.

"Don't rightly know." He did know, but was afraid to voice it aloud. If he said it, did it make it more true? Did it mean it might end? Mal didn't know. All he really knew was that Inara was doing things to him. And, from what he could guess, River was doing things to Jayne. In fact, if River was doing things to Jayne, Mal didn't want to open his eyes again anytime soon. Maybe never. How the hell had he let Inara talk him into this infernal goh se? Well, when you're drunk, you get stupid, his internal voice told him. Beside him, Inara hiccup'd and stepped closer, pressing her body to his. She was warm, the smell of wine and perfume wafting up to his nose. Yes, this would be why he agreed. Mal was trying so hard to be strong.

"Mal, are you with me?" She whispered the words, her breath warm against his ear. The very act sent a shiver down his spine. Oh, he was with her alright. He was always with her. Her very being invaded his mind, haunting him, asleep or awake. no mater where he was, something always brought her to his mind. Oh yes, he was with her.

"I'm with you," he whispered back, finally opening his eyes. He made sure to look at her, not River and Jayne, wherever in the room they were. He didn't want to see that. Instead, he saw her. Beautiful, she was simply too beautiful, staring at him like she was. Dark eyes, full of hope, begging him for some sign in return. It was then that Jayne coughed, reminding Mal that no, they were not alone. River was straddling Jayne, staring back at them over her shoulder. It took Mal all of two seconds to see the look of help me please on Jayne's face. He didn't know if he was more turned on or angry, seeing this in front of him. Gorramn Inara, Mal thought. She and River had cooked this up. And he'd fallin' right into her wiles. Grabbing Inara's hand, rougher than he'd liked, he hauled her out of the galley, muttering something about her shuttle.

** Jayne and River **

Ay yi, Jayne thought, looking up at River. She had watched the others leave, and now she was staring deeply into Jayne's eyes. Her smile seemed to widen and she shifted her hips, pressing into him. Oh god, she was going to be trouble.

"Now River..." His voice was low and husky, his eyes already starting to roll back. God, did she have to move like that on top of him? Hell, where had she learned to even think of moving like that? Before he could stop himself, his hands were resting on her hips, pulling her in, having her closer than she should have been.

"Wait! Gorramnit, we can't do this." Frowning, he pushed her, or tried to, but River wouldn't be so quickly deterred.

"Want to. Fun. Fun with friends. Now it is time for our own party." Their eyes met, and for a minute, Jayne was scared. It was bad. He understood every word she said, too. Very scary."

"River, can't. Your brother. Mal. I don't feel like dyin'." River shook her head. He had to understand this. She wanted him, she didn't want anyone else. It wasn't because of what he thought it was, or maybe it was.

"Want. Desires. Feelings deeper than just another girl." Leaning in, she kissed him. The kiss was gentle, her lips moving against his, almost not moving at all, tentative. She can feel his desire pressing against her, a soft moan escaping her lips. She cannot help but get lost in his eyes, so dark and arousing. The heat between her legs is growing, moistening, unable to stop herself. Warm, wet, inviting, her mouth opens for him, tongue gliding over his bottom lip. Well defined arms rise and wrap around him, holding him close, her rapidly hardening nipples grazing against his muscled chest. She can feel his mouth widening and she accepts his invitation, her tongue moving with his, swirling around inside of him. Hips rise and buck, rubbing against his.

"River..." He moves his hands up from her hips, wanting to caress her, to touch her, to make her feel as special as she is. She is beautiful, and so much better than just being with him. She deserves better. She wants this, though. She's willing, and he wants her. More than that, it's not just a roll for her, he sees that as his eyes meet hers. For lack of a better word, it's special. Lifting her in his arms, he rests her on the galley table, sitting on the edge. He kisses her neck, his hands move again, or still, massaging her arms, kneading her breasts. They won't linger, won't pick one spot. Her hands too seem busy, wanting to touch.

No more words. They both see it, with a look in their eyes. Impatience, hesitancy turning into something stronger. He moves his hands to the hem of her dress, slowly pushing it forward. Rough, calloused hands move along her legs, inching higher, but they are not rough at all. In contrast, they are surprisingly gentle, a lovers caress. He lets her explore, moves with her, shows her things she's never seen before. And she's grateful. They move as one, joining together, all sweat and frenzy. And when it's over, he holds her, holds her tight and makes her feel special. She does something to him, and he to her, that is different for both of them. Worlds apart, but they make it, together.

** Mal and Inara **

"Wiles!" Once inside the shuttle, Mal slams the door, staring hard at her. "You, River, usin' wiles on us! On this stupid holiday. It's not gorramn fair, 'Nara! What type of game you think you playin' at? Cause me, personally, I'm not entirely findin' it altogether funny!" His eyes were narrowed and he was not happy, his whole body shaking with anger. Inara stood her ground, but only just.

"Mal, c'mon. It was just in fun. I... I have to sit down." Feeling woozy, she moved over to the sofa, giving Mal a dismissing wave of her hand. Her and Mal were still a little tipsy. He moved to sit down beside her, but his tone still showed how angry he was. Very angry.

"Inara, I ain't likin' to be used as a toy, or a pawn, whatever. I ain't no model for teachin' on, especially when it is River and sexin!" Inara looked up at him, laughing. The truth was, River and Inara had been talking a little while now. It had been going on, at least, longer than Mal might think. If Mal knew that, he would blow a gasket for sure. Reaching out, she rested her hand lightly on his arm. Her eyes met his, trying to get him back to the point he just was at moments ago in the galley. Mal, as much as he wanted to talk, was only a man. And that look, that touch, it melted his mean old man heart. Reaching for her, his hand cupped her cheek, letting his thumb run along her jaw line.

"Inara," he breathed out, his eyes gazing into hers. He was a little fogged up, like she was. The drink did that to them. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips gently against hers. She was sweet, a hint of the all the different drinks they had been sharing. She smelled like summer, exotic like. And her lips were so soft, he didn't think he could stop kissing her if he tried. Inara kissed back, gently pulling Mal to her. She didn't want to argue with him. Just once, she wanted there to be a happy moment between the two of them, not an angry one. Unlike the other couples, this was not gentle, in any way. This was about need, frenzied and wild, with hands that were rough, tugging clothes off, almost ripping them without a care. Two souls who were so similar, and yet so not. Lips, hands, all about them both fighting for dominance, who would win. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

"Mal," she breathed out his name like a siren's song. Pushing him down on the couch, not even sure they would make it to the bed, her kisses become harder, and he kisses back, meeting her intensity. Her eyes search his out, full of love, of hope, and a little fear. She is worried that this is different for him as it is for her, but it isn't, and she finds that reassurance in his eyes. The way he touches her, it is different from any man she's ever been with. She loses her control with him, something no man has been able to make her do before. What she won't tell him is that it frightens her a little, having this control all her life, and feeling it just slip away. The good, however, outweighs the bad, and she is there, with him when he brings her to orgasm, riding her climax with him. Slicked in sweat, hair sticking to their faces, they somehow make their way to the bed and find warmth and solace underneath the covers.

Tomorrow, tomorrow was going to be an interesting day on Serenity.
rosieoftheshire on February 17th, 2006 12:24 pm (UTC)
Loved it! Great fun! Thank you so much! It's a great Valentines gift! :)